Conflict Avoidance and Family Communication
My oldest son is at the age where he doesn't want to listen to his mother or me talk to him about the importance of communication (or anything, frankly). But he also has some learning challenges which make communication more difficult.
Lately attempts at addressing some ongoing issues have quickly turned into shouting from my son. We've reassured him that we know that talking about them is hard, but it's the only way we can work through it.
This morning I was listening to someone talk about communication, and he said, "Conflict avoidance is not conflict resolution."
I thought this was a great concept, and what better time to use it than right before bed when my son was yelling.
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, my wife rolled her eyes and my son asked what that meant. Too bad this morning I didn't listen to someone say, "Know when to keep your mouth shut."
However, I still believe the thought is the right one. Especially in families. Avoiding the conflict never resolves it. The conflict always comes back around more intense than the last time.
No matter how safe we try to make the space and how much reassurance we give my son, he closes himself off because it's too hard.
So how do we resolve this?
The answer will have to come from more than a six word statement.